It goes something like this:
I'm happy to announce [happy??? what kind of machiavelic being can be happy about announcing such a thing???? Please avoid talking at funerals!!!] that for this year you'll receive a salary increase of [infamously little amount]. Your salary is now [virtually the same it was the last year]
Thanks for your contribution blah blah blah blah blah
Anyone got a nice increase??? Let me know and take me out of my depression.